Seinfeld – Season 3
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 1 – The Note
Jerry, George, and Elaine get free massage therapy by getting a note from Jerry’s dentist, Roy. Jerry’s therapist becomes paranoid and thinks Jerry is insane when Jerry makes some casual remarks about a small boy who was kidnapped in Pennsylvania. George becomes very uncomfortable when he finds out that his massage therapist is a man. He tells Jerry that he thinks ‘it moved’ during the massage and starts to have doubts about his sexual orientation. Roy gets into trouble for passing around fake notes. Jerry tries to see the physical therapist once more, but she is afraid that he will try to kidnap her son. The episode ends with the four eating in Monk’s, and viewing Joe DiMaggio dunking his donuts.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 2 – The Truth
George tells his girlfriend Patrice the truth about why he ended their relationship; as a result, she checks herself into the Woodhaven mental institution. Jerry is very upset at this because he is being audited by the IRS and George’s girlfriend, an accountant, was supposed to help him out. To make things worse, she has all of his tax papers and Jerry needs them back desperately. It was Kramer who had gotten Jerry into trouble by forcing him to contribute to a fake volcano relief fund. Kramer is also dating Elaine’s roommate, Tina, and Elaine complains about the loud tribal music and sexual noises in her apartment. Kramer also walks into Elaine’s room and sees her naked.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 3 – The Pen
Jerry and Elaine go to Florida to visit Jerry’s parents for the weekend and go scuba diving. Jack Klompus comes over to write Morty a check. Jerry notices Jack’s pen. When he asks Jack about it, he tells Jerry that it can write upside down and that astronauts use it in space. Jack offers an interested Jerry the pen. Jerry refuses his offer several times, but Jack persists and Jerry finally gives in. At her own insistence, Elaine sleeps on a sofa bed with a bar that sticks up through the mattress and hurts her back. The next morning, Elaine’s back is so hurt that she cannot go scuba diving with Jerry.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 4 – The Dog
Jerry is on a plane back home when the drunken man next to him falls sick and asks Jerry to take care of his dog while he recovers. He promises to call him and take the dog back when he comes to New York. The dog “Farfel” turns out to be very disobedient and Jerry cannot go out anywhere. Jerry, George and Elaine were supposed to see the movie Prognosis Negative but Jerry informs them that he has to take care of the dog and asks them to go without him. George and Elaine realize they do not have a lot in common without Jerry around. They have a good conversation only when they are making fun of Jerry and his habits.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 5 – The Library
Jerry finds out that he is being fined for an unreturned library book from 1971: Tropic of Cancer. Jerry is convinced that he indeed did return the book, as he remembers he was with a high school sweetheart, Sherry Becker, that day and her orange dress is “burned into his memory”. Jerry then finds his old high school girlfriend Sherry Becker, who tells Jerry that the book they read to each other was actually Tropic of Capricorn, not Cancer. Jerry then remembers that he actually loaned Cancer to George.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 6 – The Parking Garage
The cast is in search of Kramer’s car in the multi-level parking garage of a shopping mall after Kramer purchases an air conditioner. Unfortunately, no one can remember where the car was parked. Jerry is eager to urinate and goes in a dark corner. After Jerry does so, he is spotted by an officer and is held in the officer’s booth. Later, George is also caught in the act of urinating. Both Jerry and George are fined and released. Then by luck, the gang finds Kramer’s car but unfortunately, Kramer, who has the car keys, is still lost somewhere in the garage. Hours later, Kramer shows up, having gone on his own hunt for the air conditioner. As they all enter the car, the engine fails to start.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 7 – The Cafe
Jerry becomes fascinated by an unsuccessful restaurant and gives the owner some friendly advice. George’s girlfriend wants him to take an IQ test for an education course she is doing; worried that he will score badly, he persuades Elaine to take it for him instead. Jerry suggests that she take the test at the deserted Dream Café because she “won’t hear a peep” there – but they reckon without Kramer’s distracting presence. Elaine retakes the test in Jerry’s apartment, but another collision with Kramer prevents her from returning it on time. Meanwhile, the Dream Café remains empty.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 8 – The Tape
George orders a baldness remedy from China. Elaine anonymously leaves an erotic message on Jerry’s tape recorder which Jerry, George, and Kramer become obsessed with. She admits to George that she was the sexy voice in the tape. George is shocked to hear this and suddenly becomes attracted to her. She makes George promise not to tell her confession to Jerry or Kramer. George finds it hard to control his obsession with Elaine and finally blurts out to Elaine that he is attracted to her, in front of Jerry and Kramer. Elaine finds this news disturbing and then realizes that Jerry and Kramer have become attracted to her too.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 9 – The Nose Job
George thinks his girlfriend is perfect, except for one flaw: she has a large nose, so Kramer encourages her to get rhinoplasty. Jerry is unsure about his relationship with an actress whom he finds beautiful but with whom he has nothing in common. George’s girlfriend gets the rhinoplasty, but it is botched and George breaks up with her. However once it is fixed she is beautiful, and she starts dating Kramer, leaving George to regret breaking up with her and he has good reasons for that.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 10 – The Stranded
When a co-worker starts coming on to George, he strands Jerry and Elaine at a party, leaving them to wait for Kramer. As a sign of gratitude for allowing him and Elaine to wait at his home, Jerry suggests the hosts stop by his apartment if they are ever in New York City. Weeks later, the male host takes him up on his offer just as Jerry is heading out the door. Jerry allows him to wait in the apartment until his return. However, Kramer stops by and he and the host have some drinks and laughs. Eventually they hire a prostitute to come over to Jerry’s apartment.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 11 – The Alternate Side
Jerry’s car is stolen and he has a conversation with the car-jacker on the car phone. George takes a job moving cars from one side of the street to the other, to comply with alternate side parking regulations, and does a very careless job by crashing cars and causing traffic jams. Elaine cares for her 66-year-old boyfriend who has had a stroke just before she was about to break up with him. Kramer gets a line in a Woody Allen film, popularizing the expression, “These pretzels are making me thirsty!” He accidentally injures Woody Allen during the shooting and gets fired from the set.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 12 – The Red Dot
Elaine gets George a job at a publishing company; to repay her, he buys her an ostensibly expensive cashmere sweater, that has a minor flaw, a red dot, for which it was marked down considerably. Elaine spots it and becomes furious at George. Elaine immediately returns the cashmere sweater to George. Later, While George was working at his new job, he becomes sexually attracted to a cleaning lady and has sex with her after they both drink Hennigan’s Scotch. The next day, the cleaning lady gets upset over what happened the previous night and threatens to report what happened to the boss of the company. George tries to compensate with her by offering the flawed cashmere sweater. The cleaning lady identifies the red spot and George is fired after she reports their affair.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 13 – The Subway
Each of the four principal characters has a unique experience during a subway ride. Jerry befriends an overweight nudist on his ride to Coney Island. George meets an enchanting woman, who seduces him, then robs him and handcuffs him to her bed, so he misses his job interview in the process. Kramer gets a horse racing tip and wins big, helping to pay for his car fines. But on his way back, Kramer is about to be menaced by another bidder, only to be saved by a cop posing as a blind violinist. Elaine misses a lesbian wedding, where she was to attend due to train delays, which make her very nervous along with her apparent claustrophobia.
Jerry’s dispenser of Pez candy causes Elaine to laugh loudly at a piano recital given by George’s girlfriend. Kramer creates a cologne that smells of the beach. Jerry hosts an intervention for an old friend with a drug problem. George’s girlfriend hears Elaine laughing, realizes that it was Elaine who ruined her concert, and walks out on George. Jerry’s friend kicks his drug habit, but becomes addicted to Pez. Let’s face it who doesn’t like a Pez 🙂
Elaine needs to fast before an x-ray, so she tries stuffing herself three days before the test. After his neighbor Martin tries to commit suicide, Jerry is hit on by his girlfriend, Gina, while at the hospital. A psychic warns George to cancel his vacation to the Cayman Islands. However, Elaine offends her, and the psychic kicks them out before she can tell George why he should cancel his vacation. In fear, George sells his ticket to Kramer. Jerry becomes worried when Martin’s friend, Newman sees him with Gina. Elaine starts hallucinating from hunger.
George says that he would never sink to fix-ups, saying that a fix-up is one step away from prostitution or personal ads (However, in The Race he replies to a personal ad in the Daily Worker). Jerry and Elaine set George up with Elaine’s friend Cynthia.
They hit it off but George is horrified to discover that Kramer has given him a defective condom.
George’s girlfriend says she misses her period.
he episode won the award for Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series at the 1992 Emmy Awards for Larry Charles and Elaine Pope, the writers of the episode.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 17 – The Boyfriend
Jerry meets Keith Hernandez and wants to make a good impression. Meanwhile, George is out of time on his unemployment and he works harder than ever on his scheme to get a 13-week extension. He tells the unemployment office he was close to a job with Vandelay Industries, a company that makes latex products and whose main office is Jerry’s apartment. Kramer and Newman take Hernandez back to a time when they were allegedly spit on by him. The “spitting incident” depicted in the story is a pastiche of the 1991 film JFK. Jerry presents the “Magic Loogie Theory”, a reference to the “Magic Bullet Theory” featured in the film.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 18 – The New Friend
Jerry supports the “second-spitter theory” that Hernandez was not involved. Keith asks Jerry about Elaine’s status. Keith makes a date with her and breaks a date with Jerry. George tries two more approaches with the unemployment officer. Kramer gets Jerry to accompany him to see a former neighbor’s new baby, “you got to see the baby.” Though he’s gone out with Keith once, does that mean he must help him move? Elaine and Keith are hitting it off until he pulls out a cigarette. George wants to sleep with a really tall woman. Keith supports the “second spitter theory.” Jerry and Elaine both break up with Keith and George might get his wish.
Jerry and George board a limousine intended for a passenger named O’Brien. George pretends to be O’Brien. They invite Kramer and Elaine to join them. George learns that O’Brien is making a speech that night, and as he reads the speech. The group learns that the intended riders were neo-Nazis, for whom they have been mistaken. The car pulls up to the Paramount and the protesters begin rocking it. George is ushered onto a podium for his speech, and the protesters horde around him as he frantically denies being O’Brian and shouts for Jerry.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 20 – The Good Samaritan
Jerry witnesses a hit-and-run driver hitting another car. He goes after the driver, but when the driver steps out he realizes that she is a beautiful woman and decides to date her. After dating Angela, the hit-and-run driver, Jerry finds out she also hit Becky, another woman he has always wanted to date. He tells Becky that he will do something about the damage. Meanwhile, Kramer has convulsions from Mary Hart’s voice. Jerry goes to Becky’s house to write out a check for her damage and then ask her out, but Becky falsely accuses him of hitting her car. Kramer uses the accident as an excuse to talk to Becky and ends up getting a date with her. But when he rings the bell at her apartment and she opens the door, Mary Hart is on the TV and Kramer has another convulsion.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 21 – The Letter
Kramer poses for a portrait by Jerry’s girlfriend Nina, which an elderly couple admires. George feels obligated to buy something when he accompanies Jerry to his new girlfriend’s art studio, and purchases a $500 painting, which he tries to sell to Jerry for $10 shortly thereafter. Elaine wears a Baltimore Orioles baseball cap in the owner’s box at Yankee Stadium, and refuses to remove it. Jerry finds out his new girlfriend is a plagiarist after he hears the words she wrote in a letter on television (specifically, the film Chapter Two). The elderly couple buy “The Kramer” for $5000 and invite Kramer himself over to their house for dinner.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 22 – The Parking Space
George drives with Elaine to Jerry’s to watch a big televised fight with him. He finds a parking space, and decides to back into it. He spends a good deal of time positioning himself perfectly. When he starts backing into the space, Mike, also there for the fight at Jerry’s, enters the same space, front first. The two argue over who is entitled to the space, all the while blocking traffic. Mike argues that he entered the space first, while George argues that he saw it first and was simply positioning himself, entitling him to the space. Jerry and Kramer also come down to try to settle the problem. Near the end of the episode, two police officers finally arrive to supposedly resolve the situation. However, when one tells Mike to move his car, the other argues against him, and by now, it is night time.
Seinfeld – Season 3 – Episode 23 – The Keys
Kramer invades Jerry’s life too much, so Jerry revokes his spare key privileges. Realizing that he has broken the “covenant of the keys” gives Kramer the realization he is now free to come out of the shadows. Kramer takes off for California to follow his dream of becoming an actor. Jerry gave his spare keys to Elaine, then when he needs them, he goes to Elaine’s home with George, who has spare keys to her place, to search for his spare set. They end up finding Elaine’s writing project for an episode of Murphy Brown. Kramer finds adventure as he journeys across the country to Los Angeles where he gets a famous bit part on Murphy Brown.